Thomson Reuters (“TR”) has informed me that I have been selected as a “Super Lawyer” this year. In fact, TR told me months ago but then it “embargoed” the information for several months. Believe me: it’s been HELL sitting on this huge news. (What is the embargo about? It is about notifying the thousands (literally) of “Super Lawyers” and then selling advertising to lawyers and their law firms over several months.)
But now it is finally time for me to “leverage” this “honorable selection,” apparently along with the other thousands (literally) of “Super Lawyers” (see the photo above and the swag below in the enclosed catalog!).
Maybe I should “leverage” the “honorable selection” with some “Super Lawyer” barware. But wait… Is the “Super Lawyer” designation for lawyers or is it for Thomson Reuters to leverage its own branded swag? At the expense of thousands of lawyers desperate for competitive advantage in a very competitive and difficult business? I’ll drink to that!
In case you missed the alcoholic undercurrent in Super Lawyers’ panoply of barware, so unfitting and inappropriate to generate legal business (and unfitting and inappropriate to salve or remedy the despair of far too many U.S. lawyers, as well), the photo on the opposite side of the Super Lawyers swag catalog brings it home with a salty sultry photo of the traveling lawyer’s on-the-road companions: booze and bar nuts.
I particularly like the “bokeh” effect to emulate the exhausted and inebriated Super Lawyer’s blurred vision. Nice touch.
[DISCLAIMERS: (1) I mean no offense to my fellow thousands of Super Lawyers. You are all Super (according to TR). And many of you are undoubtedly very good lawyers (but super? really?). I am sympathetic, however, to the many more thousands of extraordinary lawyers who are not on this list, many of whom are some of our best lawyers. (2) I mean no offense to Mr. Theodore Fournaris, who provided the testimonial above for Super Lawyer’s advertising, apparently. I have no knowledge or information of any kind related to Mr. Fournaris (professional, personal, or otherwise) and I do not mean to suggest anything, positive or negative, with regard to him, his practice, or his law firm. (If I could, I’d “pixelate” and obscure his name from the marketing but it is beyond Minnesota Litigator’s Graphic Department’s expertise.)]
Seriously, I am honored to have been selected as one of thousands of targets for this Thomson Reuters advertising. It is not everyone who gets the privilege of being parasitized by this particular blood-sucker organization and, for that, I thank you, Thomson Reuters!!!
In fact, I designate Thomson Reuters as an Elite Legal Marketing Genius of the Highest Order and TR can send me $2.00 (+ $49.99 shipping and handling) for a personalized limited edition plaque.